wishing I could erase her past

You know the importance of empathy. It is a necessity in relationships. But, sometimes I think I have a problem by taking on so much of the pain, that it might be harder for me to go through the situation than the friend actually in the experience, which is just a little silly.

It's even more real when you have gone through the same things yourself, you get it, and you cannot escape the emotions you felt at that time because your friend is facing them this day and they need you, they need you to understand and pray for them even more than you would pray for yourself. And you hear them speak and imagine their tears, and you experience it all with them, even though miles may separate you.

Dating relationships are a weird worldly thing. I still don't know how I feel about it all. When I surrendered my journey of life to Jesus when I was 16, I read all the Kissing Dating Goodbye books and all the ones that said it was necessary (and good) within boundaries. But, today, in sadness for a friend, I come to question that again, what does God really desire for this area of our life?

I have been in 4 semi-serious/serious dating relationships in the last 7 years. And I get what it is to have hope in something and for those doors to be closed for eternity, and the internal struggle that one goes through in that process. I guess for me, in one of my closest friend's situations ... I know that I cannot do anything to make it any better. I can't fix it. I can't make the memories go away. I pray and pray and God will intercede and hold her. But, are we getting it all wrong from the start?

Do we understand what it is to guard our hearts? Do we really get what it is to put our hope first in Christ? Can we see one couple around us that has good boundaries before they're engaged? I have a hard time seeing even one. Maybe you can help me recognize one, if you think of them, let me know.

But tonight, I am just sad for my friend, knowing she is sad and that nothing can change her past and where she has let her heart go. Jesus can heal her now, but it may be a perseverant process. And I wish that we were taught so much more about what we should do about this whole cultural dating process.

I hope its all figured out soon.

... praying ...


(the illustration above is by Luke Flowers)